Go hug your babies.

Last night Derrick and I read a talk out of the Conference Ensign. It was Arms of Safety by Jay E. Jensen. (click here for link). This is the story he told at the beginning of the talk:

"A family had been taking pictures on a lookout point of the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. They heard screams and ran to find that a two-year-old girl had fallen through a railing to a ledge about 35 feet (11 m) below. The little one tried to climb back up, but her movements caused her to slip even further until she was 5 feet (1.5 m) from a dangerous 200-foot (61-m) drop.

A 19-year-old young man named Ian saw where she was and, using his emergency-response training, knew how to handle the situation. These are his words: "'Immediately, it all came at me, and I just knew what I had to do. I set down my camera and went up the trail a little ways where it wasn't as steep, climbed over the rail, scrambled down a bunch of rocks and through brush, and found her.' Holding her in his arms for an hour, Ian waited until emergency teams could drop down with ropes" to rescue them."

I just sat there at the table and felt really silly as I just cried! I know the story is about the Savior and the Atonement. About how He will rescue us and we will be safe in His arms. But all I could think about was what a horrible mom I am! I know I'm not really a horrible mom, but that's how I was feeling at that moment. Let me try to explain.

What if that were my baby? Hayden is two like the little girl in the story. I couldn't get the image of a baby stuck on a ledge out of my mind. Hayden wouldn't know to stay still. He wouldn't know that he couldn't move. He can't even control his body well enough so that I don't get nervous when he is on the stairs by himself. He would have been so scared, but wouldn't have known about the danger that was five feet away. I just wanted to run upstairs and pull Hayden out of his bed and hold him! I wanted to give him kisses and tell him how much I loved him. He is so precious to me. What if it were my baby stuck on a ledge? What if something ever happened to him? I know you can't live your life in fear about things like that, but I'm a mom so I have a right to worry sometimes.

So knowing how I feel about my precious boy, how could I get so frustrated with him? Why do I get so upset when he doesn't sleep well or he makes a huge mess? Why do I get so impatient when he throws tantrums? Am I too harsh when I discipline him sometimes? Do I forget everything else and get down on the floor to play with him enough?

So I just pray that whenever I start to get frustrated with him I will remember this story and how I would feel if anything ever happened to him. It seems stupid for me to have to think about it like that, but I have never been very good in the patience department and I think this is just what I needed. He's too important. I need to remember who he is.