The Birth of Amelia Jane

This is a real birth story, so expect reality! I like to talk about birth and I'm not shy about it. There are words like placenta, cervix, and the like, but I promise it's an awesome story!

January 14, 2014.  I woke up at about 3:30 realizing I would not be able to get back to sleep through my contractions anymore.  I had a few already, and I was able to relax through and fall back asleep, but not anymore.  I realized what was going on and got a little bit excited.  This was how all my births have started, so I knew immediately what was going on.  I had been having contractions for a few weeks, but these ones felt different.  I tried getting up and in more comfortable positions.  The goal was to figure out how to sleep between them so I could get as much rest as possible.  I had no idea how long this day was going to be.  They got really intense, really fast, and I woke Derrick up with all my noise making and moving around.  He helped me through them until Owen woke up.  I had him go put Owen back to bed while I worked through them myself for a while.  

Eventually I needed his help and called for him, and we quickly realized that this was not going to be the long drawn out births that we were used to.  The contractions were still about 7 minutes apart, but they were very intense and accompanied with lots of pressure. Derrick called the midwife, Chris, at about 5:15 am and she said she would be on her way.  We started calling everyone else… doula, photographer, and moms, and started getting things ready. Derrick set up the pool.  At this point things were getting even more intense with more pressure.  I was sitting on the edge of the bed and Derrick was kneeling in front of me.  I would just hang on him and he would help me through each one.  I started getting a little nervous because I felt like I couldn’t relax enough to get through them the way I had with my other babies. He would keep encouraging me and telling me how great I was doing.  

I cried out, “Where is everyone??” because I just needed everyone there and needed all the support and to know I was doing ok.  Just then Chris knocked on the door, thank heavens!  This was at 6:00 am.  She came in and gave me a hug and we talked about what was going on.  After watching me and how I was acting, she told me I might be farther along than I realized and I was sounding pushy.  I told her about all the pressure I was feeling in my cervix and that I was so confused by it, that I didn’t understand what was going on, since the contractions were still about 6 or so minutes apart.  I just wasn’t expecting it to happen so fast. We decided to check me and I was at 6 cm.  I worked through another contraction on the side of the bed with Derrick and when I looked up I realized my doula and sister-in-law, Marcie, was there.  I was so glad to see her, and she would hold my hand and talk to me while I leaned on Derrick for support.

The pool was filled and ready for me to get in, but I didn’t want to move.  I wasn’t that comfortable, but I couldn’t imagine any other position would be comfortable either.  Marcie told me it was going to feel so good, and I remembered how much I had loved the water through this whole pregnancy, so I decided to get in.  Ahhhhhh, sweet relief!  It felt so good... the heat and the water were so soothing.  I asked them to pour water on my back and I leaned over the edge and wrapped my arms around Derrick.  He had promised me whenever I got nervous about the birth that he would be there for me every single second, and he was.  His voice was so comforting and sometimes I would just have to open my eyes and focus on his face and his voice.  I started pushing while I was in the water, but I didn’t want to.  After one contraction I told everyone how scared I was of pushing, and that I knew I was fighting against it which was making everything worse.  Chris told me how she had 8 babies and she was still always scared of the pushing part too.  They told me that I should listen to my body, and I told them it was telling me to push, but that I didn’t want to and it didn’t feel good.  I started begging for a break, and if I could just skip this part, or just try again later.  They reminded me that I had done this before and I could do it again.  I asked them why would I ever do that, and how anyone has ever done this because it was impossible.  Marcie reminded me how at my blessingway we had invited the strength and wisdom of all those women who had gone before me to be with me in this important work.  I felt them there, and for a moment I just prayed and gathered all the strength and comfort I could.  I decided to check myself to see if I could feel the baby’s head or anything, and I felt a bulging bag of waters.  Chris told me she could break it, and I knew that if she did, the baby would be born really quickly again like Owen had been.  I guess I just make really thick membranes!  I have had AROM with every baby, and this time I had decided I really wanted my water to break on it’s own.  I thought it would be cool if the baby was born in the caul.  But when it came down to it, I just knew I couldn’t go on like this with the awful pressure, but the amniotic sac holding me back from getting it done, and I decided I wanted it to be broken. Neither of the moms or the birth photographer were there yet, so I had everyone start calling to see where they were to decide if I was going to wait for them or not.  My mom was just a few minutes away, so we decided to wait for her, but we knew the other two would not make it.  I also noticed around this time that Martina was there to assist.  She was there when Owen was born and I love her, so I was really glad she could come.

After my mom got there, Chris told me she would break my water with the next contraction.  She told me to tell her when I was ready.  The contraction came and it took me a minute to get the guts to tell her to go ahead.  It was already so hard and I knew this would be worse. She did it, and I immediately felt an insane amount of pressure and stretching.  I yelled that I was NOT comfortable in that position, so they helped me up on my hands and knees. It took longer for this baby to come down than it did Owen, but I remember feeling the head come down and start crowning.  I just could not believe what was happening.   I prepared so long for this birth but I feel like there was nothing I could ever do to prepare for that feeling.  I felt the ring of fire and I was screaming.  Everyone had to help me focus and stop running away from the pushing. I was swearing and screaming high and low, and telling them ,“SERIOUSLY GUYS I cannot do this anymore. You have to take it out.” (Now, I do not apologize for this.  If there was any time in my life where screaming and swearing were appropriate, it was this one!)  I knew it was the only way to get the baby out, so I just pushed.  It was scary for me because I felt like I was tearing up.  I reached down to feel the whole thing which was sort of incredible.  I felt the head come out and yelled “That’s the head!”  Now this is the part that gets a little fuzzy to me.  I was so in my birthing mind that I have a hard time remembering anything but emotions, so this is what I gather from what everyone told me. Chris said, “Turn her over.”  Derrick picked me up and flipped me right over to my back. I knew enough from my training to know what was going on, but I wasn’t scared.  There was almost a shoulder dystocia and the baby was a little stuck.  Chris got her out.  She told me she doesn’t wait for it to become a complete dystocia.  I’m still not exactly sure how it happened, but I am so grateful for a skilled attendant who knew just what to do with no panic. (I’m really grateful I wasn’t in the hospital for this part.  I really think it would have been traumatizing emotionally and physically because they see it a whole different way there.) I felt her head come the rest of the way out and then her shoulders, and then her body.  Chris lifted her up to me and I reached out my arms for my baby.  I remember feeling like it was happening in slow motion, like I couldn’t get my arms to work fast enough.

They wrapped a blanket over us in the water, and then I told my mom to go get the kids.  I was so relieved it was over, and I remember asking if the baby was ok. The coloring was great and the baby was breathing well.  Derrick was behind me and we both had our hands touching the baby’s head, just staring and meeting her for the first time.  He worked so hard, right along with me, and because of that I never felt alone.  It was a really emotional and spiritual experience for both of us. 

 When the kids came in to see, I asked them if they wanted to see if it was a boy or a girl.  It was really important that we all find out together.  I lifted the blanket and we all looked together and said, “It’s a girl!”  Our little Millie girl was here at 7:41 am.  About 4 hours total! I did not expect such a fast labor!  The placenta came soon after, and it was really beautiful and healthy looking.  They said it was really thick.  Derrick cut the cord and we got me out of the pool and in bed.  Millie and I did skin to skin and she started rooting right away so I sat up a bit to feed her while Chris checked me out.  I nursed Millie and she latched right on.  It’s always amazing to me that they know exactly what to do.  The after birth pains were horrible so I got some arnica and took my after birth tincture.  This is the point when the photographer arrived so she at least got some great pictures of us right after the birth.  Millie ate for about half an hour and then they did the newborn exam.  She weighed 8 lb 13 oz!   I kept asking over and over.. I couldn’t believe it, and thought they might have meant 7 lb 13 oz.  She was a full pound bigger than Owen, who was my biggest baby.  Derrick and I sat on the bed together and just loved on her.  We kept staring at each other, not really believing what we had just been through together, but of course believing it, because it happened!  I am so grateful for him and the support he gave me.  Marcie got me something to eat and helped me get comfortable.  Everyone needs a doula, seriously!  Chris helped me up and to the bathroom.  I just felt so loved and so taken care of by everyone.  I am so grateful for my incredible birth team!  My birth was hard work, but it was beautiful and so worth it.  I am grateful I got to experience the whole thing.  Millie and I did it together, with the support and love of so many.  I had numerous people tell me that they woke up at 3:30 am when my birth started, saying that they had dreamed about me, or were just thinking about me and offered up a prayer.  That is really incredible to me.

The kids came in and sat on the bed with us to check her out.  They loved her but they were overwhelmed with all the people. I had always told them that they could choose whether or not they wanted to be in the room for the birth and I felt like they were prepared.  Owen stayed the entire time!  He was totally calm and just observant.  Halle stayed for a while when I was pushing, but I think I scared her with my yelling, so she left.  Hayden did not want to come in because he said, “It’s too loud in there.”  They are so proud and so excited to have a baby sister.  When everyone left, they were all over her, and wanting to hold her. None of us can stop staring at her, and we are so glad she is finally here!