The Whole Story

I guess my birth story really starts Tuesday morning, which I already wrote about (2 posts below).  What I thought was a false start was really just good practice!  The whole next day I had some good contractions every couple of hours.  They had really quieted down by bedtime.  I woke up again at 3 am on Thursday with contractions I couldn't sleep through.  I took my iPod downstairs to listen to a deepening session of Hypnobabies to see if I could get some good relaxation and anesthesia going.  By the time it was finished, I just didn't want to be alone anymore.  They were pretty strong.

I went up and let Derrick know what was going on. He had to take Halle back to her room because she had come to crawl in bed with us.  Derrick just held me through them and encouraged me.  He used the relax cue from Hypnobabies, and it really helped.  He timed them, and they were really all over the place.  I couldn't talk through them, and I really had to focus, but because they weren't regular we just assumed it was the same thing happening from Tuesday.  The kids had preschool, so at 8:30 Derrick took them there on his way to work.  I tried to relax and get some sleep since I had been up for so long already.  I listened to a Hypnobabies track to help me fall asleep.  That was hard, because whenever I would get a contraction while I was sleeping it would surprise me and be really hard for me to stay relaxed.

I woke up around 11 and decided to just get going with the day.  Sitting there just waiting around was driving me crazy.  Derrick brought the kids home at 11:30 and I told him he was ok to go back to work.  The contractions were still strong, but not regular.  He works close enough that I could call him and tell him to come home at any time.  I got up and started moving around.  I cleaned some things and got ready for the day.  My plan was to make muffins because I thought it would be a wonderful after birth snack. :)  It just didn't happen.  By 3:30 they were getting more and more intense, but not regular.  I called Derrick and told him that I could probably do this by myself for longer, but I really didn't want to.  He came home.

Derrick worked on dinner while I worked through each pressure wave.  I tried moving around and getting into new positions to see what was comfortable.  I tried my bed, the birthing ball, leaning over things.  When I felt one coming on I would start saying "ahhhhh" to try to stay relaxed and Derrick would come find me to help me focus and telling me, "relax," while he had his hand on my forehead.  This was one of the cues we learned in Hypnobabies, and probably the thing that was the most helpful. I really was surprised at how vocal I was the whole day, but it helped so much to just open up and use my voice. At 6 we called our midwife to let her know what was going on.  We knew we were probably a long ways away from a birth because they were shorter and not close enough or regular enough, but I was just getting so worn out from being at this for 14 hours already.  She sent over her assistant who lives close to see what was going on. It also turns out my poor midwife was getting over food poisoning. I really like her assistant, so I was glad she could come. I wasn't planning on having any cervical checks, but our concern was that more was happening than we realized and he would be born very quickly when it was time.  We wanted to have enough time for the midwife to get there.  So she checked me and I was at about a 2 and still pretty thick.  She told me to just try to get some rest because there was still a lot of work to do.  I could handle this, and was just grateful to know what was really going on.  This labor was so different from my others! I had never labored so long. She also said that because she checked me, it might just get things going a little more.

Boy was she right!  I laid down on the couch to listen to a fear clearing session when she left.  Pressure waves started coming every 3 to 5 minutes and lasting  over a minute each time.  She had told us to call her after half an hour of this.  I really needed Derrick at this point.  I also got really ticked off at Hypnobabies.  I remember taking out my earphones and throwing my iPod down while I was ....well... yelling through them.  They were INTENSE.  I was doing ok and just took them one at a time and relaxed as much as I could in between.  When I said my first "I can't," during one, Derrick whipped out his phone and called the midwife assistant back.  She came right back over to see what was going on.  I had gotten in our bathtub to see if the water would help while Derrick worked on setting up the birth pool.  I remember praying hard at this point. Begging for the strength I needed to get through this.  Begging for angels to surround me and help me though.  I knew I could get through it one pressure wave at a time. The assistant just watched me and timed my waves.  She called my midwife to come.  When my midwife got there she checked me again and told me I was at an 8!  This was a little over an hour after I was at a 2.  I said "Hey, good for me!"  I sat on the birth ball for a while and then was able to get into the pool.

I knelt down in the water and leaned over the edge, and it felt so good! I had pretty much abandoned all Hypnobabies at this point, except for the relaxing cues.  I didn't want to turn my switch to off or center because it seemed to just make me feel everything more intensely.  What I needed was to just look in Derrick's eyes and make some noise.  I was a little surprised that the louder I was, the more everyone in the room was encouraging me and telling me I was doing great. I remember getting a little emotional and saying, "I just feel so good.  I'm so happy right now." I started feeling a little pushy and they told me to go ahead.  My water hadn't broken yet, so there was talk of him being born in the caul.  After a while they had me turn over so they could get a better idea of what was going on.  She checked me to make sure there wasn't a cervical lip, and mentioned that my bag of waters was really bulging.  We decided to go ahead and break it on the next contraction.  We did that and then I really started feeling it.  We called my mom up who had been downstairs with the kids.  I really started pushing with the next ones and there are just no words to describe it.  I can't remember exactly what I was thinking, but I know I reached my bottom point - where I thought I couldn't or just didn't want to go on.  I thought it was going to be impossible  Our window was open, and we decided after that we are lucky no one called the cops on us. :)  I was just screaming, "Get it out!" and crying.  Everyone says it was only about 30 seconds, but holy cow, it seemed like a lot longer than that to me.

I reached down and felt his head and I couldn't believe what was happening.  Then his body slipped out and they put him right in my arms.  It was incredible.  He was so perfect!  So tiny!  I kept saying, "I can't believe I just did that!"  I'm still saying that! It was intense and overwhelming and incredible. It was so worth those few seconds that I thought I couldn't handle it.  I spent a lot of time visualizing his birth, and it was so much more than I could have ever imagined.  I was amazed at how he really didn't need anything to get going.  It was so peaceful and gentle.  No suctioning, no worrying.  All he needed was to be in his mama's arms.  His color was so good. There was not a speck of vernix on him, which they told me means he was probably farther along than 38 weeks.  He was very well cooked and perfectly healthy!

The kids came upstairs to meet their new brother.  They have both been enamored since the second they saw him.  Hayden was shy in front of everyone, but he was so happy.  They've been waiting a long time for a baby!  My mom cut the cord after it stopped pulsing and then she took the kids downstairs so we could get cleaned up.  I handed the baby off to Derrick while they got me out of the water and into bed.  I was a little dizzy at first so they got me some juice.  I was able to sit up and nurse him and do some skin to skin. I couldn't believe how alert he was!  He knew just what to do and latched right on, and has been a perfect nurser ever since. Derrick and I sat on our bed together just amazed while the midwives cleaned everything up.  It was so peaceful.  No bright lights, no beeping machines, and I was surrounded by people who I knew and loved.  He pooped on the pad I was holding him in, so we decided to hand him over for the newborn check.  I was feeling so good.  It makes a big difference to be able to feel your legs and move around and be in your own bed.  I was completely on a high the whole night.

We had decided a week or two ago that his name was Owen (but I just didn't feel like telling everyone until he was born).  That is just a name I liked from the beginning, and I just felt like it was his name.  Almost like I wasn't the one to choose it.  It took a while for Derrick to come around to the idea, but he seemed to agree that it's just his name.  His middle name is Blaine, after my amazing grandpa who passed away a few years ago.  I think it's fitting, because we've both decided he has more of a Hunter look to him, from that side of the family.  

I know I said that I completely abandoned the Hypnobabies at the end there, but I still can't say enough about how much it helped me.  I learned a lot through the class, and got some really good relaxation practice.  Most of all, I think it just helped me to mentally prepare for what I was about to do and visualize it so I had a plan.  I always felt so good after a hypnosis session, and I think it's a great stress reliever.  It also got Derrick and I involved on a common goal, and by reading together and practicing scripts together it really bonded us in this goal to get Owen here in the best way we knew how.  It's amazing to me now to look at Derrick and realize how much he helped me through.  I couldn't have done it without him.

The kids are completely in love with Owen!  Halle got to hold him last night before she went to bed, but Hayden fell asleep.  The first thing he did when he woke up this morning was come into our room to look at him.  Between the two of them, no one else has had much of a chance to hold him today! It's all hugs and kisses and "my turn to hold him!" all day.  They are so proud of their new baby.  Derrick and I just can't stop staring.  I can't get over how cute he is!  We definitely said some extra special prayers of gratitude last night.