Choose

It was another one of those days. Lately they seem to be in abundance. I'll spare you the details because I know I've been using this place to vent lately, and it's not what I want to remember or for you to have to read. As I was mopping the floor after I put the kids to bed I thought,

"I can't do it anymore."

I can't be that negative person who puts herself in a bad mood and drags her husband and kids down with her. I don't want to feel like that. I choose to be happy. This has always been a big struggle for me. I know it's my choice, but it's so so so much easier for me to be negative than choose to be positive.

So instead of thinking of the reasons I hated today, I thought of why I am grateful. I was surprised at how many things I was able to think of.

• lysol
• my dishwasher - that actually washes the dishes, not me! What a noble concept, huh?
• the internet
• that Hayden's learned to say his L sound. It's quite hilarious. He has to stick his tongue quite a ways out and it's really pronounced. Today he used it to tell me, "I LLLLub you mommy!"
• Even if he is sick, he's not feverish and clingy.
• Halle now calls me Mama, and says it while she is crawling around looking for me. She's a mama's girl for sure!
• the ice/water dispenser in my fridge
• that Hayden and Halle went to bed so easy, even though Derrick wasn't here.
• Library books
• Bob the Builder who has Hayden always saying, "Yes we can!" What a great attitude to have!
• Yummy food
• Dr. Pepper - the secret ingredient in my Cafe Rio style sweet pork.
• Flip Flops
• My mom
• The way Derrick makes me laugh when we make fun of our local news anchor who has kinda creepy eyes and always says silly things.
• Tylenol
• pacifiers
• That we got to go to the temple yesterday for the first time in 6 months, and do all three ordinances. I feel rejuvenated. I'm sure it's what got me through this day.
• Music
• chocolate chips
• date night
• the bus
• Fun mail!
• leftover Dr. Pepper from the pork. I never buy it because I try not to drink caffeine, so it's my guilty pleasure.
• hulu.com
• Our cuddler couch
• Halle's big grin and giggles. And the way she lays her head down on my shoulder and gives me a sort of hug when she missed me.
• That Hayden always says, "thank you" when I kiss him, and the big hug he gave me for no reason when I was reading him stories tonight.
• My sewing machine
• that I have awesome in-laws
• nursery
• people who make me laugh
• prayer
• a clean kitchen floor
• baby gates
• The quiet times when Derrick and I get to hang out after the kids are asleep. Sometimes we entertain ourselves by telling each other the funny things the kids did that day. They seriously make us happy, even when they make us crazy.
• My step-dad, and that he was always so good to me.
• plastic
• contact lenses (weird side note: my contact rolled up behind my eye today! I thought it was stuck there forever! That's always been a fear of mine.)
• phones
• visiting teachers
• nap time!
• bedtime!
• The Mentalist
• rice
• The Savior, who knew how I felt today, and always loves me no matter how imperfect I am
• That Derrick did the dishes today
• hugs
• restaurants
• really quiet garage doors
• Back up cd's of the pictures on our external hard drive - because it fried and we would have lost all the pictures from Halle's birth on.
• Memories of Daddio (which is what I used to call him when he told me I was too old to call him Daddy :D) taking me to dinners on my birthday. He always makes me laugh so hard, even still.
• Friends
• But mostly, these guys:

Who always know how to have fun, keep life lively, and make me feel loved.

See, I feel so much better. I'm a lucky girl. Blessed, even.

What are you grateful for?